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How to Choose Your Maid of Honor

Apr 26, 2019
By Wedding Spot

You may have known who your maid of honor would be your whole life. Maybe it’s your sister or your lifelong best friend. But if you’re drawing a blank or juggling several individuals, we’ve highlighted a few things you should take into consideration to help with how to choose your maid of honor.

Check out our 3 helpful tips for how to choose your maid of honor:

1. Evaluate your bridal needs and expectations

Before you can begin compiling or narrowing your list of potential candidates, you should pause and take a moment to determine what you desire most from your maid of honor.  Depending on what kind of wedding you are having and if there are any events surrounding it, this is a title that could bear immense responsibility and expectations. Conduct a needs assessment and ask yourself what role this person would play and what duties they would assume at your: bridal shower, bachelorette party or weekend, rehearsal dinner, wedding day, and every day in between.

2. Consider the potential maid of honor’s unique circumstances

Among many other things, don’t forget to consider people’s personal and financial situations, emotional stability under pressure, and effectiveness in communication. Now, cross reference this with the results of your own self-evaluation. If you’re looking for a bridal buddy that will accompany you on venue tours, tastings, and fittings, perhaps your long distance BFF may not be the best choice. If you’re looking for a party planner extraordinaire, you may want to eliminate any candidates that don’t have enough time on their hands to help plan and prepare.

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3. Avoid these mistakes when picking your maid of honor:

  • Do not choose someone out of obligation. Just because they’re your oldest friend, a family member, or they chose you to be their maid of honor doesn’t make them the perfect fit for your special day. This is a situation where it’s best to be honest with yourself about who’s organized and on-time. And, if you’re worried about how someone might take the news, here are a few ways to let your friends down nicely.

  • Do not choose someone with whom you have a rocky or unstable relationship. One of the most disappointing things that can happen while planning your wedding is losing a member of your bridal party due to drama. Beware that the planning process is stressful and tensions will rise. Be sure to have someone by your side who is devoted to the relationship and the wedding.

  • Do not choose someone who does not want to or might not be able to perform the duties of a maid of honor. This person may be shy and introverted with a fear of public speaking or trouble commanding a room. As much as you may want this person to play an important role at your wedding, avoid putting them in a position where they might be uncomfortable or push them too far out of their comfort zone.

  • Do not feel like you have to conform to the traditional idea of a maid of honor. At your wedding, you are free to do anything! Break the mold! A few alternatives may include any variation or combination of the following: a maid and matron of honor duo, a tag team of two maids of honor to share the responsibilities, an older, wiser, and much more experienced matron, or someone who is not female, such as a man of honor.

Now you’re ready to choose your maid of honor!

Next up: Learn how to write your wedding vows in five simple steps and how to find an affordable wedding venue you’ll love.

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Wedding Spot

Wedding Spot

The Wedding Spot blog is designed to help couples navigate every step of the wedding planning journey. From before the engagement to after you say “I do,” our goal is to give you the tips, ideas, and inspiration to prepare for your big day — and all that comes with it.