bride and her bridesmaids relax while getting ready

7 Cute Ways to Ask Someone to Be Your Bridesmaid

Oct 4, 2023
By Wedding Spot

One of the most enjoyable parts of planning a wedding is selecting your wedding party. And finding cute ways to ask someone to be your bridesmaid can be a very fun part of the process! You want to make it a special moment for them too, which means you’ll need plenty of unique and creative ideas to make it truly memorable. Look no further! We’ve got plenty of fun and cute ways to ask someone to be your bridesmaid, and a quick guide to asking etiquette and what you should expect from your bridesmaids below.

The etiquette of asking someone to be your bridesmaid

Before diving into the creative ways to ask someone to be your bridesmaid, it is essential to understand asking etiquette.

The first rule of asking someone to be your bridesmaid is to ask in person or via a phone call. This form of communication shows that you are willing to put in the effort to ask them personally and allows for a more meaningful conversation.

Secondly, it is important to be clear about your expectations. Being a bridesmaid requires a significant time and financial commitment. That’s why it is so important to ensure that your bridesmaids understand what is expected of them. At a minimum this includes outlining when they’ll be asked to attend pre-wedding events, your general expectations for purchasing the bridesmaid dress, and if they’ll be asked to help with any wedding-related tasks.

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Lastly, it’s important to respect your friends' decision if they decline your offer. Not everyone may be able to commit to being a bridesmaid, so you’ll need to gracefully accept a no if that’s their answer. If you’re willing to be flexible, you can talk through their concerns and see if changing your expectations might change their mind.

Your cousin who is pregnant might need some more flexibility with attendance of events, especially if you’re thinking of a destination bachelorette trip. Your childhood best friend who’s in med school might not be able to contribute financially as much as you’d imagined. If it’s important to you to have them standing up next to you, consider being flexible with what you expect from them. But if the answer is still no, you need to accept it and move on.

7 cute ways to ask someone to be your bridesmaid

Now that we’ve covered the etiquette for asking, let's dive into some creative ways to ask your friends to be your bridesmaids.

1. Send a personalized gift box

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One creative way to ask someone to be your bridesmaid is through a personalized gift box. You can fill the box with items that are personal to each friend, such as their favorite candy or a personalized note. You can also include a bridesmaid proposal card, asking them to be a part of your special day. This is a thoughtful way to show your friends how much they mean to you.

2. Do a DIY balloon pop

Another fun way to ask your friends to be your bridesmaid is through a DIY balloon pop. You can create a balloon with a message inside, such as "Will you be my bridesmaid?" Then, gift your girl the balloon—whether you add a bow and hand it to them or stick it in a box—and have your friend pop it. It’s short and sweet, but still remains a unique way to ask. Your friends are sure to love it. And if you love balloons, you can continue the theme on your wedding day itself with a festive balloon arch!

3. Set up a scavenger hunt

A scavenger hunt is a creative way to ask your friends to be your bridesmaid. You can start the day at brunch, then create clues that lead your friends to different locations nearby, with each location holding a special message or item. At the end of the scavenger hunt, you can have a proposal card asking them to be your bridesmaid. It is a fun and interactive way to ask, and your friends are sure to enjoy the adventure. It also gives the girls a chance to meet one another if they haven’t already!

4. Create customized wine bottles

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A customized wine bottle is a thoughtful and elegant way to ask your friends to be your bridesmaids. You can create a custom label for each bottle, with a message asking them to be your bridesmaid. If you’re the type to enjoy a joke or pun, look for a label with a cute phrase before the ask itself—there are plenty on Etsy! Plus your friends can enjoy the wine long after the proposal.

5. Personalize a puzzle

A personalized puzzle is a great way to ask your friends to be your bridesmaids, especially if your gang enjoys a good game. You can create a custom puzzle with a picture of you and your friend, along with a message asking them to be your bridesmaid. And as an added bonus, once they’ve completed the puzzle, they can frame it if they want to keep it as a memento. Just make sure they have the free time to do an activity like this, otherwise you run the risk of not hearing back from them in time!

6. Customize some cookies

Customized cookies are sweet and delicious! You can have custom cookies made with a message asking them to be your bridesmaid. Most bakeries should be able to accommodate an ask like this, but see if you can take a look at their work before you commit (and always double check spelling!). They can enjoy the cookies while feeling special and loved.

7. Personalize a tote bag

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A personalized tote bag is the most practical way to ask your friends to be your bridesmaids on this list. Whether you buy a custom tote bag with their name and a message asking them to be your bridesmaid or you buy plain totes and DIY it, your pals will appreciate the thoughtful gesture. They can use the tote bag for any wedding-related events or just as a daily bag, reminding them of their special relationship with you (you'll want to gift your girls a token of your appreciation for the big day as well!).

Here’s what to expect from your bridesmaids once they say “yes!”

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Being a bridesmaid comes with responsibilities and expectations. It is important to communicate your expectations clearly and give your bridesmaids enough time to prepare. Here are some things you might ask of your bridesmaids.

Attend pre-wedding events. Your bridesmaids might be expected to attend pre-wedding events, such as the bridal shower, bachelorette party, and rehearsal dinner. These events can be great celebrations and another way to spend time with your loved ones before you embark on this new step in your life.
Purchase bridesmaid outfits. Your bridesmaids will likely be expected to purchase their bridesmaid dress according to your directions, whether that’s a specific dress you’ve chosen or something in your color scheme. It’s important to consider their budget and style preferences when selecting attire, so if you’re willing to be flexible with your expectations, this could be an easy way to make adjustments.
Help with wedding-related tasks and errands. You can ask your bridesmaids to help with some wedding-related tasks, like setting up decorations, helping with the seating arrangements, picking up the cake, and assisting with any last-minute details.
Be supportive. This one is important—your bridesmaids should be a supportive ear throughout the wedding planning process. It can be stressful for all parties, so make sure you’re understanding of your girls’ effort for your big day, just as they spend their time, money, and energy supporting you. If they’re local and able, it’s always nice to have help with last-minute tasks when they arise, but remember that they have other commitments as well.

Asking someone to be your bridesmaid FAQs

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Q: When should I ask my bridesmaids to be in my wedding party?
A: It's best to ask your bridesmaids as soon as possible after getting engaged, so that they have plenty of time to plan and prepare for the wedding. Ideally, you should ask your bridesmaids at least six months before the wedding, so that they have time to order dresses, plan any travel arrangements, and take care of any other preparations.

Q: How should I ask my bridesmaids to be in my wedding party?
A: We’ve already discussed some specific and cute ways to ask someone to be your bridesmaid. But in general, there are many simple yet personalized ways to ask your bridesmaids to be in your wedding party, from sending a sincere card or gift to planning a special outing or event. The most important thing is to make the ask personal and heartfelt. Your goal should be to let your friend know how much it would mean to have them by your side on your special day, regardless of whether or not they can perform the role.

Q: Who should I ask to be my bridesmaids?
A:  Choose bridesmaids who are important to you and who you trust to support you throughout your wedding planning journey. Your bridesmaids can be family members, close friends, or anyone else who you feel a close connection to.

Q: What are their responsibilities as a bridesmaid?
A: As a bridesmaid, their main responsibility is to support you throughout the wedding planning process and on the wedding day itself. This may include helping with wedding preparations, attending pre-wedding events, and providing emotional support and encouragement when needed.

Q: What should I do if someone declines my offer to be a bridesmaid?
A: It's important to be understanding and respectful if someone declines your offer to be a bridesmaid. Remember that being a bridesmaid is a big commitment and not everyone may be able to take on this role. If someone declines your offer, thank them for their honesty and support. You could consider asking someone else who you feel would be a good fit for the role or just have one fewer bridesmaid than you were expecting.

Get ready to hear “I do” from your future bridesmaids!

Asking someone to be your bridesmaid is a special and memorable moment, so make sure you consider the asking etiquette and communicate your expectations clearly. Remember to be understanding if someone declines your offer and appreciate the effort and commitment of your bridesmaids. With these tips and ideas, you can create a memorable and special experience for you and your bridesmaids.

Up next, find out how to pick bridesmaid dresses and check out some of our favorite ideas for bridesmaids' bouquets!

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Wedding Spot

The Wedding Spot blog is designed to help couples navigate every step of the wedding planning journey. From before the engagement to after you say “I do,” our goal is to give you the tips, ideas, and inspiration to prepare for your big day — and all that comes with it.